Shoosh, it's a secret!

So I was talking with the hubby today about how inconsiderate I think everyone is in regards to baby talk and pregnancy. I realize that the thoughts and feelings that I have are wrong, but this experience has left me so sour and bitter in many ways that I can't help the way I feel. His response to my ranting, "Well maybe you should stop talking about it and then people won't offend you".  While there is obvious truth to what he is saying, I have to fire back with "Well maybe if people stopped asking I would stop talking about it ".  I mean it's not like I bring up my infertility in every discussion I have with another human being. However, I am pretty open about it if people ask. It is therapeutic to talk about it, but sometimes I just don't like what others say to me. I can't say that I blame then. When dealing with a hormonal woman about 90% of what you say is wrong anyway.

Today was our second IUI.  I am not feeling super hopeful because after all the drugs I only had one mature follicle during the ultrasound check on Friday.  I don't understand how I could only have ONE when I am on so much medication to make be produce more.  Not to mention how terrible I have felt for the past 3 days.  I started to feel like my ovaries were going to explode on Thursday.  I thought for sure that I was going to have a half dozen mature follicles and they were going to tell me that they wouldn't do the IUI because they wouldn't want me to have a batch of babies:)  I guess the good news is that at least we were able to do the IUI.  This is probably going to be our last one because I don't think I can keep going on like this taking all the medication that I am on.  It can't be good for my innards to be stimulated so much for so long.  If we are heading toward IVF I'd rather start saving than blowing all this money on treatments that don't work for us.  I say this all now, but I guess in two weeks we will know whether I mean it or not.  That negative pregnancy test always seems to change my mind.