I forgot to post this from July. So I'm sorry it is out of order.
After this month's disappointment, my husband and I started talking more about IVF and how we were going to pay for it. I just can't believe how outrageously expensive it is! There are several different options, but if you want to have a "money back guarantee", you will pay for it! It's not that I have a hard time justifying the cost because I know the cause is totally worth it. I just have a hard time justifying it when I have had 3 doctors really give me no reason that I need IVF. I have a hard time justifying it when I had my daughter with no trouble whatsoever. I just play the scenario of what if we do the IVF and it doesn't work? Then what? I just don't think I am ready to accept that there are no more children in our future. I also can't help but think, what if we aren't being patient enough? What if we would have waited just one more month and we wouldn't have needed to go into unnecessary debt. All these doubts tell me that I am not ready to go down that road yet. I am looking into other options and keeping IVF as a last possible solution.
One of my good friends had been going through infertility for the past 2 plus years. Poor thing has had a couple of miscarriages and has just had a really hard time. Well just a few days ago she randomly messages me. I haven't heard from her in months so it was really interesting timing as I had just started my period the day before. I know what you are thinking, but I really was happy for her! It gave me hope knowing what she had been through and she still managed to get pregnant. Well she tells me that she went to this new doctor and he gave her some drops to put under her tongue. She says that after the first month of taking the drops, BAM she's pregnant. This sounds almost too good to be true. Turns out she is 12 weeks along and doing great. What the heck was in those drops?!
I decided to go and see the guy that she was seeing and was set up with the drops as well. Here's to hoping that they work!
Thursday, September 19, 2013
The Results are in
I decided to have a blood test yesterday and sadly, but not surprisingly, it was negative. Now if I would just start my period so I can get on with my life.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
It has been a while
I haven't posted in a while as I have been trying very hard to keep distracted from the baby makin' business. Nothing new to report, other than I am late. Really late. 11 days late to be exact. Not that it means anything though. I have taken who knows how many pregnancy tests, every single one negative. I still have just a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe a little baby is growing inside of me right now. We'll see, and if not, there's always next month right?
Another thing that is weird this month is that my hair is falling out. Not just a hair here and there, like REALLY falling out. It is so bizarre. It reminds me of after I had my daughter when I had the postpartum hair dump. I would shower and pull clumps of hair out. This actually has been a bit worse than that. I called Mr. Dependable Homeopathic Doctor Guy and of course he has no idea why my hair is falling out. Thanks buddy for recommending drops to take that apparently make my hair fall out, and you have no idea why it is happening. Once I start my period, I am going to go to my OB and have him check all my hormones just to make sure that these drops haven't completely screwed me up. Although, if I am pregnant, I take back everything I just said. I don't care if all of my hair falls out if it means I am pregnant. I can rock the bald and the belly :)
I am doing better. People aren't quite pissing me as much as they used to. I guess I am just more in the acceptance phase of all of this. Don't get me wrong, people are still getting pregnant every month and I am not, but I am just so used to it now. I just figure that at least one person will tell me a month. Lucky for me, someone already told me this month so hopefully that is out of the way for the remaining 13 days.
Once I start my period I am going to go back to the fertility specialist that I saw originally. We have decided that we are going to do IVF in January. My husband's work actually has infertility benefits, but they don't start until January. I am hoping that I can go to the doctor, explain the situation, and start the process in November so that we will be ready to get pregnant in January. I know that I need to be on birth control for at least a month so I figure I could start that anytime. It seems so weird to take birth control now. It's so comical and ironic that I took so many different types of BC for so long because I was worried that we might have our second baby "too soon". If I only knew!
Well I will update as soon as I have "news". I'm not expecting anything, but if anyone is reading this, I would really appreciate the prayers right now. I would love for this torturous journey to be over.
By the way, I had my stomach scoped and they found out that I have a hernia and some excessive bile production going on due to the fact that I don't have a gallbladder. I am on medication, and yes, I have to take it for the rest of my life. Super Duper fun for me. If I ever do get pregnant, I just wonder how this poor baby is going to turn out with all the meds I am on.
Another thing that is weird this month is that my hair is falling out. Not just a hair here and there, like REALLY falling out. It is so bizarre. It reminds me of after I had my daughter when I had the postpartum hair dump. I would shower and pull clumps of hair out. This actually has been a bit worse than that. I called Mr. Dependable Homeopathic Doctor Guy and of course he has no idea why my hair is falling out. Thanks buddy for recommending drops to take that apparently make my hair fall out, and you have no idea why it is happening. Once I start my period, I am going to go to my OB and have him check all my hormones just to make sure that these drops haven't completely screwed me up. Although, if I am pregnant, I take back everything I just said. I don't care if all of my hair falls out if it means I am pregnant. I can rock the bald and the belly :)
I am doing better. People aren't quite pissing me as much as they used to. I guess I am just more in the acceptance phase of all of this. Don't get me wrong, people are still getting pregnant every month and I am not, but I am just so used to it now. I just figure that at least one person will tell me a month. Lucky for me, someone already told me this month so hopefully that is out of the way for the remaining 13 days.
Once I start my period I am going to go back to the fertility specialist that I saw originally. We have decided that we are going to do IVF in January. My husband's work actually has infertility benefits, but they don't start until January. I am hoping that I can go to the doctor, explain the situation, and start the process in November so that we will be ready to get pregnant in January. I know that I need to be on birth control for at least a month so I figure I could start that anytime. It seems so weird to take birth control now. It's so comical and ironic that I took so many different types of BC for so long because I was worried that we might have our second baby "too soon". If I only knew!
Well I will update as soon as I have "news". I'm not expecting anything, but if anyone is reading this, I would really appreciate the prayers right now. I would love for this torturous journey to be over.
By the way, I had my stomach scoped and they found out that I have a hernia and some excessive bile production going on due to the fact that I don't have a gallbladder. I am on medication, and yes, I have to take it for the rest of my life. Super Duper fun for me. If I ever do get pregnant, I just wonder how this poor baby is going to turn out with all the meds I am on.
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