Let the journey begin!

I have been terrible about posting!  I should have been posting every day for the past week, but life has been way too crazy.  I guess I will just shove it into one post!  We finally started our In Vitro cycle last Friday!  I will fill in all the details, but I have to go back a couple of weeks to start the story.  I finally started my period in January and I was excited for the first time.  I was excited because I knew that after months, I mean YEARS of waiting, we could finally start the process to getting our little baby.  I called the doctors office immediately and they started the horrendous process of getting the cycle pre authorized.  I won't go into much detail other than to say, IT SUCKED! The insurance did not want to cover the procedure because they said that we had not completed enough "non-invasive" treatments.  I just would like to rant a little.  How is trying for 2 years, completing 6 cycles of clomid, 1 cycle of injectables with trigger shots, and 2 cycles with artificial insemination not enough?  I mean what else do we have to do to prove we are infertile?!?  I just hate insurance companies.  At the same time though, I am so grateful.  After much effort and stress, we were finally able to get the cycle authorized.  Did I mention that was 2 days bfefore I was supposed to start stimulation medication?  Haha!  It was just the craziest timing but amazing how it fell into place.

Once we got the cycle approved, we were able to order my medications.  My meds came out to be 3,700 dollars.  Holy smokes!  I nearly choked on my tongue when they told me what my grand total was.  The meds came the next day and this is what 3700 bucks gets you!

I have to admit, I was really excited to get started!  Here is the recap of everything that has happened so far:

Friday, January 24th

This was my initial Ultrasound and blood draw to see how things were baseline.  I was pretty nervous to go in, but excited at the same time.  As I went in for the US, the nurse told me to take out my tampon if I was on my period.  I was confused by this because I hadn't stopped my period that long ago.  I had been on birth control for a couple of weeks, but I just stopped it a few days earlier. Low and behold, I started my period at that exact moment.  It was a little strange that she knew that was going to happen.  I had my first of many ultrasounds and the NP, Angie, said that everything looked great.  Apparently I had about 20 follicles on each ovary and I was expected to do well with the medication.  I was ecstatic.  I was on cloud nine.  After the ultrasound I met with Angie and she talked to me about how to do my medications.  Unfortunately with my medications I was going to have to do 2 shots a night.  I was dreading this, but in a way, excited.  Angie told me to take 50 ml of a low dose HCG medication and 300 ui of Follistim.

That night I got all my medications laid out and started to ice my stomach.  I was really nervous for the injections, but I knew it would all be worth it.  My sweet husband did the shots for me and he did great!

The follistim pen was so weird!  It allows you to set the dose and then you have to click it to get all the dose delivered.  I did not like that clicking noise.  Surprisingly, the shots were not bad at all.  Icing totally helps!  I only had a little bit of burning with the low dose HCG.  So just to recap, I had 3 needle pokes this day :)

Saturday, January 25th - Sunday, January 26th

The shots went well!

4 more needle pokes

Monday, January 27th

I had my first blood draw 

After receiving the blood draw results, the doctor decided to reduce my follistim dose to 225 iu.  Apparently my ovaries were trying to be over achievers.  

3 Needle Pokes

Tuesday, January 28th

By Tuesday I was having a little bit of a melt down.  The meds had finally kicked in full force.  I was emotional and I was really worried that the cycle wasn't going to work.  I ended up asking my neighbor for a blessing since my husband was out of town.  The blessing really helped me calm down and I was able to start thinking those positive thoughts again.

2 Needle Pokes

Wednesday, January 29th

Second Bloodraw and Ultrasound

The Ultrasound looked good but I had a lot of eggs growing.  My doctor has been out due to a leg infection.  The doctor who was filling in was concerned that I was hyper-stimulating.  He said that I had too many eggs developing.  He said that he only likes to have 10 eggs at retrieval.  I was a little upset by this since I was told I had 20 on each ovary when we started.  I would rather have 20 eggs at retrieval to increase our chances for trying again later.  I guess it only takes one egg, but I was annoyed by his reservations.  The blood results were not good as well.  I was still too high in my levels so the doctor lowered my dose to 188 iu of follistim.  They also added Centrotide to prevent the eggs from releasing.

Still counting?  That was 4 Needle Pokes for that day!  Getting bruised!

Thursday, January 30th

Well this brings us to today.  Today was by far the worst day of the entire process.  I went in for another Ultrasound and Blood Draw.  The physician noted that I had fluid in my uterus.  Apparently, this is very bad news.  IVF is almost never successful when there is fluid in the uterus.  The worst part, was when the doctor told me that we would have to wait 2 months to try again.  I was devastated.  I was frustrated because the fluid was not there yesterday.  I am convinced it is because they have messed with my drugs so much.  The most frustrating part was that the doctor couldn't really tell me what caused it or what the next steps would be.  He basically said that we would just have to wait and see.  Wait and see?!  Does he not realize what we have invested to do this?  I just would like more answers.  The day was devastating.  I pretty much cried all day.  I was a mess.  After all of this, now we won't be able to transfer?  I don't understand why we have such bad luck!  After a few hours the nurse called me back and explained what was going on.  It didn't make me feel a whole lot better, but at least it gave me some understanding of what was going on.  She also told me to increase my follistim back to 300 iu!  Urgh, make up your minds already!!  

After work I felt impressed to call my brother and ask him to give me a blessing.  Since it would be a healing blessing, he asked me to have another priesthood holder present.  I was going to have my neighbor do the blessing again, but I called my husband.  Much to my surprise, he offered to do it.  This was such a big step, as he has never done one before.  I felt the spirit so much when I received the blessing.  I just felt a sense of calm.  I felt like everything was going to be ok and that no matter what happens, this trial is coming to an end.  I am so grateful for the priesthood and the blessings that it brings.  It is amazing that I can have one of the worst days of my life and then I feel at peace just by hearing the words of the spirit.  I'm grateful to have my husband support me during this time and I am so grateful for good family and friends.  I know that I am going to get through this.  No matter what happens with this cycle, I will be able to carry on.  I'm just hoping for good news tomorrow!  

Since we are keeping track, 4 Needle Pokes today too!  That is a total of 16 Pokes in the last week!  I'm starting to feel like a pin cushion.