So after last month's disappointment, I decided to have a new focus. I was going to get skinny and fit and forget about all of this infertility crap. It has been working like a charm. I have been so much happier and non obsessive about every little thing my body does. I have felt renewed and excited about my new adventure of getting in shape.
Today I was faced with hanging out with 2 pregnant women in the same room. I should have known that it was going to be a bad idea but I really thought I had moved on. A little bit of background, both of these women are pregnant with their 4th child. One of the women will have 4 children ages 2 and under. That's right 2 and under. She even said, "my husband and I can't even wash our underwear together or we get pregnant!" I wish that it was that easy for me. I feel bad because even though they have done nothing wrong, I can't help but feel resentful. It's not fair to feel this way, but the pain and longing for a child takes over all logic. It just really brought back a lot of heart ache that I have been missing for the past couple of weeks. I guess I am not completely healed and it will take a long time to start feeling better about my situation. I haven't given up all hope. I have another doctor appointment with a Dr that is supposed to be a specialist in endometreosis. I am hoping that he will have some answers for me, but if not, it's back to the workout/eat healthy focus until I can find something else to keep my mind occupied.
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