I am on my last cycle before I start IVF. I think it would be wonderful if I magically got pregnant this month, but I know this will most likely not be the case. One more time to ovulate, one more time to "try", one more time to wait, one more time to be disappointed in the end. At least I hope, this is the last time for disappointment.
I've tried very hard not to put a lot of thought into preparing for this very big step, but tonight I started the research. Unfortunately, the anxiety started with it. I am glad that I researched the details of the procedure, but I am extremely nervous now. It just seems like a lot to go through, to not have it work. I'm especially worried about the possibility of having the Hypo Ovary Stimulation Syndrome occurring. I'm not sure if it is from my endometreosis or what, but every time that I have taken fertility medication I have the worst ovarian pain ever! I suffer for a good week after I start my period. I'm really worried that it will be even worse once I start the heavy duty meds for IVF. I hope that I don't have any problems with the meds and that everything goes smoothly. Oh I hope.
I am extremely nervous, but I am extremely hopeful. This is it. This is our last chance. I must keep myself focused and not let the emotion of it take over. After all, if it doesn't work, at least I will have my closure. There is nothing that I can do to change the outcome. All I can do is follow the physician's instruction and hope for the best.
